I saw a meme on Facebook this week that read, “A true friend doesn’t care when you’re broke, being a bitch, what you weigh, if your house is a mess, what you drive, about your past, or if your family is filled with crazy people. They love you for who you are. Repost if you have at least one true friend, they will know who they are.”
I’ve heard so many variations of these phrases repeated among conversations with friends and family. I see them reposted on Facebook, Twitter, and every other social media outlet and it needs to stop.
“‘A true friend doesn’t care when you’re broke.'”
WTF. If I’m broke and my friends don’t care, I’m going to be pissed.
“A true friend doesn’t care when you’re being a bitch.”
Seriously? That’s probably because people who are bitches don’t have true friends.
This whole statement is bullshit because true friends do care about all that stuff. They just love you anyway, shitty-ass car and all.
“Caring” is not equal to “Looking down on”.
The problem with internet memes is they go for the cheap thrill. The easy laugh. The quick tear. The snarky sarcasm. All of this makes for great internet fluff, but it also dulls our senses to the reality of life.
Listen guys, if you ever see me hanging around with someone who doesn’t care about any of the stuff that makes up ‘who I am’ feel free to kick my ass.
I understand the point of this picture is not to breakdown the meaning of every single word, but to recognize the beauty that is in every other person and all that crap.
But the first half of the statement undermines the second half. And shit like that spreads across the internet like wildfire confusing everyone who reads it and leading them to believe that they are blessed to hang out with people who don’t give a shit about their circumstances.
News flash: There is no such thing as a “judgment free” zone, only different kinds of judgments – positive, negative, and neutral. I know the latest feel good hype is that we should all live in a judgment free society where everyone smokes marshmallows and sleeps on a waterbed of unicorn spit.
But we don’t.
And talking about how ‘a true friend’ won’t judge you only makes you someone who judges (negatively, I might add).
So stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Yes, they’re judging you. So what?
All they’re doing is trying to figure out how they fit into the big equation that is life.
Judgments are used as a way of understanding who we are, who we used to be, and who we want to be. How else would you know that you want something more? Something different? Something sweeter, nicer, bolder, more adventurous, more daring.
So the next time you see an internet meme that indicates we should all stop caring about (aka judging) everyone else, take a minute and think about it. I judge people every day. I get judged every day. I don’t feel bad about it.
Judging is loving.