Fear

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** Disclaimer: I actually wrote this a few months ago.  Stay tuned to find out how I finally got over the hump.

I have been seriously stuck lately.  After finally realizing I need to make a change, and doing some soul searching to find out what I actually want to do, I find myself at a standstill.  I was talking to my husband last night and explaining how I just don’t know what steps to take next.  Actually, if I’m being honest, it was more like a complete meltdown where I whined (cried uncontrollably) for 20 minutes about my job, my lack of resources, and my desire to do something different but how I just don’t know how.

In true form, he only listened to the whining for a short time before he started making suggestions of things I could do to move from Point A to Point B.  This was really irritating.  First, because I was having a pity party and really wanted someone to join in with me.  And secondly, because he was right about his suggestions and I had to admit to myself that my excuses for why I’m stuck are complete bull shit.  Dammit.

So, I went to bed thinking about the reasons why people become complacent, or stuck, or accept the mediocre.  For me, there are several reasons – the unknown, lack of knowledge, uncertainty, naysayers, and, because it’s comfortable to do nothing.  But, really, all of these can be encompassed by one word.  Fear.  I would guess this is the main culprit for most people.  I hate to admit it, but I’m scared.  I’m not entirely sure what I want.  I’m not entirely sure I can make a go at it.  I don’t know if I’ll fail.  I don’t know if I can make any money at it.  I don’t know what other people will say.  I don’t know where to start.  So, I sit on it.  Really?  I need to give myself a slap.

When I really think about it, the results don’t even matter.  Who cares if I fail?  Who cares what other people say?  And, I’ve heard the best place to start is the beginning… so there’s that.  At the end of the day, I’m already failing if I never start, right?  It’s time I quit kidding myself that by not doing anything, I’m avoiding the risk.  That’s a big fat lie.

  • Missy. All I can say is, “wow!” I read all of your posts. I’ve been going through the same type of discontent for a while now. I know what I’m doing isn’t where I’m meant to be. I feel like I’m wasting my life, my time, my energy. I’m not the person that I want to be. I’ve changed my mind a thousand times and I just can’t figure out what I want to do. Now I’m paralyzed because I’ve tried and failed, or realized I’m on the wrong path one too many times. Like you, I want to do something that will make me happy and make my life matter. But financial obligations hold our feet to the fire. I know transition is possible, but it’s gotta be a well crafted plan and executed. Sometimes, I think drafting the plan is the harder part. Maybe that’s where you are going with all this?? I will stay tuned! Thanks for sharing all of this.

    • Brandy, I feel your pain, and you are correct, that is where all of this is heading! Thank you so much for your support. Keep an eye out over the next few months as new things will unfold throughout the site. If you need anything, you know where to find me!