Fear

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** Disclaimer: I actually wrote this a few months ago.  Stay tuned to find out how I finally got over the hump.

I have been seriously stuck lately.  After finally realizing I need to make a change, and doing some soul searching to find out what I actually want to do, I find myself at a standstill.  I was talking to my husband last night and explaining how I just don’t know what steps to take next.  Actually, if I’m being honest, it was more like a complete meltdown where I whined (cried uncontrollably) for 20 minutes about my job, my lack of resources, and my desire to do something different but how I just don’t know how.

In true form, he only listened to the whining for a short time before he started making suggestions of things I could do to move from Point A to Point B.  This was really irritating.  First, because I was having a pity party and really wanted someone to join in with me.  And secondly, because he was right about his suggestions and I had to admit to myself that my excuses for why I’m stuck are complete bull shit.  Dammit.

So, I went to bed thinking about the reasons why people become complacent, or stuck, or accept the mediocre.  For me, there are several reasons – the unknown, lack of knowledge, uncertainty, naysayers, and, because it’s comfortable to do nothing.  But, really, all of these can be encompassed by one word.  Fear.  I would guess this is the main culprit for most people.  I hate to admit it, but I’m scared.  I’m not entirely sure what I want.  I’m not entirely sure I can make a go at it.  I don’t know if I’ll fail.  I don’t know if I can make any money at it.  I don’t know what other people will say.  I don’t know where to start.  So, I sit on it.  Really?  I need to give myself a slap.

When I really think about it, the results don’t even matter.  Who cares if I fail?  Who cares what other people say?  And, I’ve heard the best place to start is the beginning… so there’s that.  At the end of the day, I’m already failing if I never start, right?  It’s time I quit kidding myself that by not doing anything, I’m avoiding the risk.  That’s a big fat lie.